It's True, I Swear

by Bill Holmes

This blog was originally published 01/01/2013 in the Viewpoint.

This week I was reminded of something I knew but that you always have to be vigilant about.  That something is that you can't believe everything you hear, read or see.  No source is totally accurate.  Not newspapers, radio, TV, Internet, movies, books, friends, email or gossip can be totally trusted nor totally dismissed.  You have to check stuff.  You should first give it a brain check.  Does it even make sense? Even if it does, find another source or two to verify or debunk the information.

Nowadays the biggest source for both information and misinformation is the Internet.  TV runs a close second with the competition to be first with the information among the numerous news and fake news outlets.  If I see a friend on Facebook or email spreading a myth or falsehood, I'll point it out.  I hope to do it tactfully but I'm sure I fail sometimes.  I'm pretty sure I'll continue to do that and I hope my friends will correct any misinformation I disseminate. 

One of my signals to check a story is when it contains a bunch of superlative adjectives and adverbs.  When there are many biggest, most, worst, least, first, last, lowest, fastest, greatest type words in the story, my radar lights up.  This may surprise you, but some things are just average. They are not the most or least, biggest or smallest, best or worst.  Other clues are when what looks like a huge story comes my way via an email or FB post but failed to show up in the newspaper or TV news.  I know the established media is not completely objective and they miss, delay or suppress some stories but if it's really big and important someone will report it.  Check the date of the original source too.  I've seen chain emails that portend to be current cutting edge but contain information that is years old and has been debunked multiple times.

Why am I bringing this up now?  It is because I just read a book that I found was mostly a fabrication.  During the holidays I've been reading biographies.  I've read about Willie Mays, Jay Leno, Paul Shaffer, Ed McMahon and Brian Wilson.  Baseball, late night TV and music are three of my favorite subjects.  Willie was and still is my favorite baseball player, Ed McMahon was the sidekick of the best ever late night TV host (Johnny Carson), Jay Leno inherited the the Tonight Show from Johnny (a terrible mistake), Paul Shaffer is band leader and sidekick for David Letterman on The Late Show and Brian Wilson was the founder and creative force of the Beach Boys.  His were the songs of my youth.  So you see, I had a good reason to read all those books.  With the exception of the Mays and Shaffer books, the others are 10 or 20 years old.  There's a reason for that.  I frequently shop at a place called Half Price Books.  It's mostly a used book store that sells a few new books plus used magazines, CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes and vinyl records.  In other words, it is a great place. The Mays biography is “authorized” but not co-written.  The other three are supposedly autobiographies but have co-writers too.  

I've read several articles and books about Willie Mays and Johnny Carson.  I also was around when they were still plying their trade so I have some first hand knowledge of their greatness.  I grew up in the 60's in Florida so of course I know about Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys.  If I'm not busy I usually watch Letterman.  I never was a Jay Leno fan and his autobiography confirmed why.  To me, he's not funny or interesting.

 Based on my experience and knowledge I think the Willie, Ed, Paul and Jay books are relatively true.  I'm sure some incidents are embellished and some suppressed.  If you write a book or a blog, you get to express your viewpoint, emphasize the positive, and reduce the negative. Conversely, the Brian Wilson book appears to be a complete fabrication.  Too bad, I would like to know the story of one of our true musical geniuses.  One who came to prominence when I was a teen surfer in Florida.  Everyone I hung out with was a Beach Boys fan.  We had the surfer bangs (now impossible for me), surf boards, baggy shorts and absolutely no woodies (the cars, not the ones in our pants).

Here's the deal. I read all 390 pages of “Wouldn't It Be Nice, My Own Story” by Brian Wilson with Todd Gold.  I have read and heard a million stories about the Beach Boys over the years.  I've seen them perform live over a half dozen times.  I read stuff about them as it was happening.  Now, years later I found this book at a used book store.  After sitting on my shelf for a few months, it percolated to the top of the stack this month.

It's a tough book to read for those that remember the fun music of the Beach Boys.  From 1962 until 1966 there was no bigger musical group.  Between '62 and '65 they produced 10 albums.  Then Brian Wilson burned out and went nuts.  Drugs, sex and rock & roll took over.  So, here's the review.

The book “Wouldn't It Be Nice” was published in 1991.  It was pawned off as an autobiography by Brian Wilson.  The first half is a review of his life and the Beach Boys from the early '60s through the early '70s.  Brian is an amazing musical force who produced a whole new sound that some of us grew up with.  He also had a tough childhood with an impossible father.  The second half of the book became a tribute to his psychologist, Dr. Eugene Landy.  I knew Brian was a mess and I knew about Dr. Landy.  As I read the book, I wondered about several things.  I wondered why nobody called a lawyer when it seemed appropriate.  I wondered why Dr. Landy gave up his license to practice rather than fight the charges.  The book said it was because Brian was too fragile to testify on Landy's behalf.  I wondered why everyone who was related or close to Brian hated Dr. Landy.  Why they chose to go to court to extricate Landy from Brian's life.  Still, it was an alleged autobiography by Brian.  When I finished reading it, Brian was cured and Dr. Landry was a saint.  Carl Wilson (his brother), Mike Love (his cousin) and Al Jardine (original Beach Boy) were demons.  His ex-wife and children were either glossed over, ignored or also in the enemy camp.  The next time the litigation got going, Landy again acquiesced and disappeared.

It seems Dr. Landy might have been a charlatan.

I don't often question books like I do newspapers, TV or Internet stuff.  This time I did because the book was so one-sided and didn't jibe with my memory.  I also thought that the recent 50^thanniversary reunion of the Beach Boys could not possibly have happened if the book was true. There was just too much bad blood among the Beach Boy members.  After I finished reading the book, I did some research.  It turns out that the book was a PR publication by Dr. Landy.  The book was copyrighted by Brains and Genius, a company owned by Landy and Wilson, not by the purported author, Brian Wilson.

One statement I found in my research:

Landy's depiction in glowing terms in the second half of Wilson's autobiography Wouldn't It Be Nice: My Own Story, published that year, would, were it a legitimate autobiography, indicate Wilson's approval of his methods; in an unrelated court case, however, Wilson testified that he had never even read the final draft of the manuscript, much less written any of it.

While reading, I did wonder how a stoned Brian could remember some of the facts in the book.  I also wondered how some of the doctor/patient stuff could be published.  I think all the Wilson stuff published was revealed in supposedly private sessions.

I don't doubt that Landy helped Brian.  For the money he charged and full control, most anybody could have helped.  Brian was a mess.  He needed intervention. Landy charged $35,000 a month plus expenses. 

So the point is be cautious.  There is lots of flotsam and jetsam out there.  Believe what you want but maybe verify first.  It's tempting to pick up stray Internet stuff to support your position.  It's even more important to verify stuff you agree with.  Anybody with a keyboard and an Internet connection can post stuff as “fact”.  Some of it might even be true. 

BTW, I'm still a Willie Mays and Brian Wilson fan.  I always will be.  They are far from perfect, but so am I.  They both rose to the pinnacle of their chosen field at a time I was an impressionable youth.   

Be careful, be vigilant and try not to spread false info.  You never know where the BS will come from.  Every word in this blog post is accurate and absolutely true, I swear.

 wjh

Challenge Blog

by Bill Holmes

So I was quietly celebrating my recent birthday when a long-time friend challenged me on Facebook to write a blog about certain subjects. I accepted the challenge so now I have to deliver or forever be ridiculed by that friend.

First a little history. This long-time, now also old, friend and I have numerous shared experiences. We were drinking buddies before we could legally drink. We shared many exciting adventures as well as many quiet times. We went through multiple relationships together starting with puppy love girlfriends and progressing to serious relationships and finally to marriages. At times we probably helped each other in those relationships and at times we probably hurt them. Nevertheless, we remained close friends through it all. My parents would ask about this friend through the years even up until their deaths. So you see, even if I couldn't stand the guy, my parents liked him. I was stuck. We helped each other in the beginning when we were trying to become adults. That didn't happen when we turned 18 or 21 or even 25, it took a little longer. Some may say we never achieved adulthood. Eventually family, work, distance and time changed the relationship. We spent less time together, not on purpose or for any particular reason. It just happened. Sometimes we'd lose touch for a year or two and eventually it was probably over ten years. There was no internet or email or Facebook. It was easy to lose touch either by accident or on purpose. I moved, he moved, he had a new job, I had a new job, he had a new family, I had a new family. Stuff happens. We stumbled upon each other again about five years ago. Like with any true long-time friend we still share at least much of that one time connection.

So, I have to ask all of you, what kind of a son of a bitch would put forth the following challenge?

“What? Another birthday? I'm looking forward to your blog on this one. Have a great day!”

Followed by my reply -

“Not sure such an old man has the energy or memory for another blog.”

Followed by his reply -

“Well maybe you could just do a Facebook post detailing your contributions to the world of sports, your preferences in adult beverages, and your outlook for the Rangers since Josh Hamilton sez that there are no true baseball fans in Texas.”

Then stupidly I accepted the challenge -

“A certain long-time, not old, friend challenged me to a blog or FB post tied to my recent birthday. He suggested I talk about my contributions to sports (none), my adult beverage preferences and my views on the Rangers upcoming season since there are no real baseball fans in D/FW. He also snuck in a memory test of a 1964 event. I will accept and do my best in the upcoming days to meet the challenge and the test. This comes from the 1st ever FWC. No one can take that title from me. Hoping the statutes of limitations have expired.”

I accepted because I had to. This won't take too long.

1. My contributions to the world of sports

Minimal – I think my sports career peaked when I was 12. I was one of only two sixth graders to make the boys varsity softball team (Catholic elementary schools went from K through 8^th grade). I didn't play much but I was on the team. Because I was probably only 4'2” I was the designated walker. Go to bat, take every pitch and hope for a walk. I was not allowed to swing. Because I was a sixth grade softball prodigy, I was one of the few three year letterman in school history. Oh wait, we didn't have lettermen. I was a decent ball player. My problem is I wasn't a decent grower. That's a sports disadvantage. I played Little League, Babe Ruth and American Legion baseball until I was 16 or 17. No colleges or Major League teams called. As a youth I also played some fast-pitch softball in what were adult beer leagues. I was part of a City Junior  championship team (maybe under 15 year olds) that thought it could compete with the big boys. We could hit and run and field but as any fast-pitch softball aficionado knows it is all about the pitcher. We didn't have a pitcher. A little later in life I badly played some college (dorm/frat) intramural touch football and basketball. Later a few beer league slow-pitch company softball teams. My most significant sports contribution is that for a few years I coached youth baseball. That was a lot of work some years but a lot of fun. The kids are great, sometimes the parents aren't. There are also politics involved. I don't do politics very well. There was a little golf and bowling through the years. Now I'm just a sports fan. So you see there is no doubt the Baseball Hall of Fame is preparing a spot for me.

2. My preferences in adult beverages

In a word - beer. I have always preferred beer. When I was growing up my Dad mostly drank beer around the house. That may be because it was hot in Florida and beer is quite refreshing or because it was pretty damn cheap way back then. He drank Scotch, Rob Roy's or some mixed drink when out socializing or when some friends stopped by. He was a bartender in his youth and prided himself on having the ingredients and know-how to make whatever his guests wanted. If it was just the family or one of the neighbors it was beer. Once I was big enough, I was the designated beer boy. I was in charge of getting and opening the beer for Dad. At one time, the opening part wasn't that easy. Beer cans were made out of heavy steel and there were no pop-tops or twist off caps. Everybody carried a can/bottle opener (church key). Well, Little Billy began taking payment for the butler service by taking a sip of Dad's beer before it was delivered. Before that, Dad would give me a sip if I asked (and Mom wasn't around). I can't remember ever not liking beer. Well, the sips got bigger over time and pretty soon Dad got half a beer and I got half a beer. He knew what was going on but didn't care. He sometimes would tell me to get him a FULL beer. It was OK to drink Dad's beer but I was also the designated TV remote control. That task was not negotiable. On time and on the station. No way Mom and Dad are going to miss a second of Ed Sullivan or Lawrence Welk. Because I became a beer drinker early in life I never drank much liquor. When I have it has not always worked out well. I think it's a quantity problem. You can drink 12 or 24 or 36 or more ounces of beer over time and still be OK. You can not drink 12 or 24 or 36 ounces of Scotch without being a little impaired. I almost never drink hard stuff out in public anymore. A bottle of Irish or Gin or Vodka at home will last a few years. I normally only drink wine when I have some left over from cooking or go to a fancy restaurant. So, here's the bottom line, 98.5% of the time I drink beer (anything but Bud products). I'll sip a little Jameson Irish on rare occasions. I have vermouth, vodka and gin around in case I want a Bloody Mary, Screwdiver or Martini. I think I last had a Martini in the 1990's. Now a spicy Bloody Mary is delicious. You can use some of the above mentioned beverages in your cooking too. Bottom line – I choose to drink beer.

3. The Rangers

I fully realize that D/FW is not a baseball town, a super star told the world, so I can not be a true fan. Despite that, I am going to express my opinion on the upcoming Rangers season. My take is that it will be just fine. I have absolutely no regrets that Josh Hamilton and Michael Young are gone. Michael is an excellent person, unfortunately he is now a very mediocre baseball player with a big salary. At one time he was maybe the best Rangers player. As the team upgraded their talent he became one of their worst players. He was a pretty good 2^nd baseman whose hitting improved. He was then a very average shortstop but his hitting again improved. He was a much below average 3^rd baseman whose hitting fell off. Finally he became a poor designated hitter and a pretty bad 1^st baseman. Both of his assets, fielding and hitting, deteriorated. A once barely adequate fielder got worse and his batting average, run production and power declined. If you watch those who have replaced him and caused him to change positions you will understand. Young at one time played 2^nd, short and 3^rd. He was replaced by Kinsler, Andrus and Beltre. Kinsler is better, Andrus is very much better and Beltre is the best. All those guys are on the Rangers roster. Young's funk as DH/utility guy sealed his fate. There is too much talent in the farm system to keep a mediocre old guy around. As for Josh the Jerk, good riddance. He has a bushel of physical talent and less than an ounce of psychological ability (for those of you on the metric system that would be 27 kilograms and less than 28 grams). His physical durability is also in question. In his five years with the Rangers he missed the equivalent of a full season with injuries, some very bizarre. I don't think the players or the organization will miss the Josh drama. We're not exactly a Kardashian kind of town. I don't often wish bad times on any player but in this case I'll make an exception. I hope Josh hits about .198, hits seven home runs and drives in 22 runs. I also hope he misses 57 games with an energy drink/coffee/caffeine/dip adverse reaction. Then let God tell Josh he wanted him to have a bad season. The bullpen had some significant personnel loses but the Rangers seem to rebuild that from scratch every year. The replacements will do fine. It should be another post season appearance by the Rangers.

4. Memory Test

I'm not sure how well I did on the memory test. I think I got a majority of the answers correct. I am pretty sure that the test giver isn't positive of the correct answers either. I've decided this is not the time or place to tell that story. It was an adventure that took place almost 50 years ago. There are too many lost brain cells to accurately detail it without much more thought, maybe some research and collaboration.

Well I didn't keep it short. Once I get started I tend to ramble. I'm not sure if my challenger will find this blog acceptable. If he doesn't I will hate him forever and never speak to him again.  

PS - The font size and color shift has something to do with problems between LibreOffice Writer, were most of it was originally typed, and Blogger. I can't easily fix it so I left it. I may correct it before I submit this blog for a Pulitzer Prize.  

Cooking for Two or Fewer

by Bill Holmes

There seems to be a conspiracy by grocers and retailers against those of us who live in a household with one or two people. I've noticed this for several years because I've often lived alone or with only one or two other people. A situation in the last couple of days brought it to mind again so here goes my rant.

Last week, Kroger had crawfish on sale. It was the frozen kind from China (not obvious from the ad) but that's OK for the times Louisiana fresh crawfish aren't available. Seemed like a good time to cook some up. I'm a big fan of Louisiana cooking, both Cajun and Creole. My favorite Louisiana dish is probably etouffee although gumbo ain't bad. I guess you can use almost any shellfish, seafood or mild meat to make etouffee. I'm partial to crawfish and shrimp, either separate or combined. Of course I needed a few more ingredients besides the crawfish. That''s where the problem started.

I'm not a strict follower of recipes but if you're going to make any Creole or Cajun dish you probably are going to start with the trinity. No, not the religious trinity, the Louisiana cooking trinity. Onion, celery and bell peppers. Peppers and onion are not a problem because I use them most days. I tend to eat a salad five or six days a week. Now celery, that's another story. I'm not a big celery fan, except in recipes, and don't have it laying around. I needed about one cup of chopped celery. That's about three trimmed medium stalks. Have you ever tried to buy three stalks of celery? The hermetically sealed washed and trimmed celery packages contain eight or ten trimmed stalks. A fresh bunch of celery is made up of ten or 12 larger stalks plus the leaves and root. If you only need a cup of celery there is going to be a little left over. The fresh bunch is always cheaper and usually better, so that's what I bought.

The next challenge was that I needed some flour. Depending on the recipe, I needed a blond roux or a slurry for thickening. That takes only between one or a very few tablespoons of flour for either choice. No flour in the pantry so that went on the shopping list. The smallest package of flour I found was two pounds. I now have two pounds minus one or two tablespoons of flour. I don't bake and I don't bread stuff to fry. What else can I use flour for? I bought a small bag of flour, probably two pounds, shortly after I moved back to Texas with Dad in 2003. I'm guessing I breaded some veal or pork for Dad. He liked a little breaded and fried meat now and then. I put whatever flour was left over into a glass container to keep the bugs out. Probably about five years later I came across that container. No bugs or mold but I thought it best to dump it, probably two pounds less a few tablespoons. Now ten years later I have another new bag of flour. The original glass flour container has been repurposed and I don't have another airtight container big enough for two pounds (minus a tablespoon) of flour. Need some all purpose flour? I mixed the flour with a cup of white wine (instead of water) for the slurry. Now I have a half bottle of wine left over too. Oh wait, that's not a problem.

These are just my most current gripes. Over the years I've tackled what I thought was a simple recipe only to find out that I needed five new ingredients. Check the bank balance if you need five new spices or herbs. One little jar or tin can set you back more than five dollars. That's five bucks for a pinch if you don't normally use that spice or herb. I'm not talking about truffles or real saffron. That dish you thought you would make with the on sale chicken (or crawfish) suddenly costs $27 per serving because of the other ingredients. Yes, it is sometimes cheaper to go to a restaurant for that food you are craving.

As for the huge packages of food, I have seen some attempts at more reasonable sizes. When in Florida several years ago when Mom and Dad lived in an area with several retirement communities, there were some individual serving sized products tucked away on a high shelf. There were even little jars of ketchup or mustard or mayonnaise, all overpriced. Sometimes you can find the same smaller sizes in a resort/condo area where there is a high turnover, like the Piggly-Wiggly at Coligny Plaza on Hilton Head. The problem is most of the products were neither very healthy nor delicious. In the grocery stores I now shop, I see older people (which I now am) filling their carts with individual servings of frozen and packaged meals. The food companies still make individual serving size prepackaged products. Most of these products are crap. Lean Cuisine, Stouffer's, Healthy Choice, Hormel and a few others occasionally stumble on a dish that is palatable but they still are full of salt, fats and sugars. I know part of the reason folks buy this crap is for convenience. That's OK, I buy convenient crap food too on occasion. When an older person is pushing a cart with a dozen Banquet or store brand frozen meals I know it's not really by choice. It's cheap and convenient. It will also kill you. Some of it is generational culture. Many men of my generation and older never learned to cook and have no desire to learn. My Dad could barely make a simple sandwich, heat up a can of Campell's soup or cook an egg if he was starving. That's it. He either couldn't or wouldn't bother to heat up a jar of Ragu and cook pasta. That's despite the fact that it was one of his very favorite meals. Spaghetti and sauce took two pots. That's at least one too many.

Well as usual, I've wondered all over the original subject and peripheral subjects. Partially attributable to old age, ADD, dementia, derangement, softening of the brain and mental decay.

I wish I could find individual portions or at least more usable portions of some ingredients. I wish those that can't or don't cook could find convenient, nutritious and delicious foods that weren't full of crap. Maybe as we baby boomers become infirm the food producers and sellers will offer alternate product sizes and choices. That will only happen if boomers have enough money and desire for real food to make a difference. I guess the alternative is to live in communes or co-ops. Didn't some of us try that in the 60's and 70's?

So, the etouffee was delicious, the extra celery, onion and bell pepper went into the stock pot along with some chicken scraps I had in the freezer. I also was able to use that wine I had absolutely no use for as stock or broth liquid. Now I have a couple of quarts of delicious stock or broth. I can never tell the difference between the two. I really don't have much to complain about. I use most of my food scraps. I have enough stock/broth in the freezer for several dishes. I haven't had to cooked rice or beans or make soup with plain water in years.

Nevertheless I'll still gripe about food and other packaging. If you go to Costco or Sam's expect to buy two dozen pork ribs or a gross of toilet paper. If you go to a local grocery store, it would be nice to be able to size the purchase to the recipe, family or occasion.

I think my youngest son is coming by this weekend to get this batch of etouffee. I can make more. I even have enough celery and flour for another batch. He loves etouffee and most of my cooking. What good taste he has. He's also very handsome, talented and extremely smart. It must be part of that tree, apple adage.

Anyway, it's hard to shop and cook for one or two. A big freezer helps but eventually somebody has to eat the overflow. 

By the way, I still have almost two pounds of flour for sale. 

wjh

Spring Training

by Bill Holmes 

It's that time of year again.  The Super Bowl, the very last football game of the season, is over. The days are getting warmer and longer.  Fathers and sons are out playing catch.  Youth league posters for spring signup are all around town.  The ads and circulars in the newspaper feature gloves, mitts, bats, cleats, cups and other baseball equipment.  The local baseball fields and parks once again have kids getting ready for another season.  All this can only mean one thing, it's almost time for baseball spring training to start.

Baseball is and has always been my favorite sport.  I have vague memories of watching baseball on my folks huge black and white TV when I was very young.  The TV probably had a 9" or 10" screen.  That was back when we lived in New Jersey, across the river from New York City.  Back then NYC had three major league baseball teams and even more TV channels.  I'm sure at some point I saw the Giants, Dodgers and Yankees play on a local NYC station.  I was always a Giants fan, Dad was a Yankees fan his whole life.  Even back then we disagreed on a few things.  When I was a little older we moved to Florida.  There were far fewer TV choices and far fewer games on TV.  That's OK because now I was able to throw and catch a baseball.  Almost every evening during the spring and summer my Dad and I would play catch.  I would have the gloves and ball ready when he got home from work.  These were teaching experiences, not just recreation.  Dad was always giving me lessons and tips on fielding and throwing.  I remember that every spring, as I got bigger and my arm got stronger, we would stand a little farther apart.  I can remember being able to feel the difference in my abilities from year to year.  When I got to be a tween and a teenager I would think I was as good as Dad.  He would zing a throw or two to put me in my place and show me that it wasn't quite yet the year.  Then finally one spring I was able to throw as hard and far as my Dad.  That was a memorable event to me.

I think I was about eight years old when I started playing organized baseball.  There were no t-ball or coach-pitch leagues back then so we didn't start quite as early as kids do now.  That was an exciting time for me.  We were going to play real games on real fields and wear uniforms.  Before my first spring training, Dad took me to Finkelstein's department store.  I remember it as a huge, cluttered store. I guess it had a good sports department because that's were we bought my glove, shoes (rubber cleats) and maybe a bat.  Our team had a sponsor so we had great uniforms.  They were grey flannel, full button jerseys with blue piping and the sponsors name embroidered on the back. We had blue stirrup socks and a blue hat.  We played at Crabtee Park on University Blvd. near San Jose Blvd.  The park is still there. That was the beginning of several years of playing organized baseball every summer.  I couldn't wait for the new season to start each year.

I got to relive those days when the kids were growing up.  Unfortunately not so much with my oldest but quite a bit with the youngest.  The games of catch in the evenings, the joys of going to the sporting goods store for all the equipment and the new uniform each year, especially that first year.  I must admit that my spring trainings in Florida were a little warmer than those for my son here in Texas.  It can get pretty cold and windy here in February and March. One day might be in the 70's but the next can be in the 40's and windy.  Baseball in the cold can be a little painful. Although my youngest son is now grown, we got to share his high school alumni game a few days ago.  We still get to have at least a little spring training together.  I'm thankful that he shares my love of baseball.

In between those years of my youth and my sons and now again since they are grown, I've had major league spring training to look forward to.  It's a magical time of year.

Every team is undefeated and ready to win the pennant.  All the rosters are looking strong with the off season moves and the new rookies coming up to the big club.  The injuries are all healed and everybody is in the best shape of their career.  Of course we all know that some of those off season trades and sighnings will be busts, some of the new "can't miss" rookies will miss by a mile, new injuries will crop up, old injuries will return, some players will have stayed around a year too long and any number of other problems and excuses will arise.  A few of the favorites to get to post season will have bad years for any number of reasons.  Likewise a projected cellar dweller will play above their expectations and either make the post season or at least make the races interesting.  One or more of those big free agent signings will look pretty foolish.  Some team will take a chance on a reclamation project and strike gold.  It all happens every year and we know it.  The fun is that we don't know what will happen to which team or player.  Everybody still has to play the games.

My team, the Texas Rangers, start spring training on February 12th with pitchers and catchers reporting.  There are several question marks about the Rangers.  They failed to pull the trigger on any blockbuster free agent deals.  They lost one of the best, though flawed, players in the game to a division rival.  They traded their team leader of the past several years.  They have questions about their pitching, both starting and the bullpen.  They have a potential 50 game drug suspension of one of their big bat starters.  They have bench strength questions.  They also have the the psychological scars of two losing  World Series appearances and a stretch run collapse in the last three years.

So, here we are one week from the start of major league spring training.  Little leagues begin in March.  High schools and colleges start the season in a week or two, the World Baseball Classic starts March 2nd and the Major League season starts March 31st with a game between the Rangers and their old in-state and new American League West division rival Astros.

Until the regular season begins we can all enjoy a few games that don't count.  Watch the new roster, try to predict the winners and losers from the free agent and trade deals and evaluate the rookies.  When the season kicks off, I'll be rooting for the Rangers, Braves and Rays.  A Rangers/Rays AL Championship Series followed by a Rangers/Braves World Series followed by a Rangers World Championship would be perfect.  You can dream the same scenario for your team too.  After all, at this time of year every team is tied for the lead.

It's a new season and I'm ready.  Play ball, batter up!

wjh    

The Fall of Lance and the Future of Cycling

This blog was originally published November 1, 2012 in the View Point.

By: Bill Holmes

This is one blog post I would rather not write but I have to. I have invested time and money in both Lance Armstrong and cycling. Like most of you who grew up in the 50's, 60's or 70's, I rode my bike everywhere when I was a kid. I rode again in my 20's for a couple of years. I rediscovered bicycles about five years ago and have ridden almost daily for over four years. I ride for transportation, exercise, health and recreation. I'm one of the six people in America who watches bike races on TV and I subscribe to a couple of bicycle magazines. My local bike shop loves me for all the money I've spent there. As far as Lance goes, I admired his dedication to bettering the lives of those who have or had cancer and marveled at his athletic accomplishments. I've given money to Livestrong and bought Trek, Nike and Radio Shack products that probably enriched Lance. So it is sad to have to put my opinions of the current doping/cycling/Lance in writing.

As mentioned, I ride one of my bikes almost every day. I enjoy 99% of those rides. Sure, sometimes I get caught in the rain, have a flat, wear too many or too few clothes, get bugs in my teeth or fall down and get a boo boo. Still, I feel better and have seen and enjoyed things I missed hundreds of times when I drove by in a car. I've explored streets and neighborhoods I would never have driven through. So I owe a lot to cycling. Once you get involved in a sport or activity it's pretty normal to watch and admire the professionals. Of course I don't race in the Tour de France but like any amateur athlete I identify with the pros in my sport. Every Little Leaguer emulates his favorite ballplayer, every golfer wants to hit a two iron (if anybody still has a two iron) like Jack Nicklaus. I marvel that professional cyclists can ride well over 100 miles, often uphill, at an average speed twice as fast as I can for 30 miles. Then do it again the next day and the next. 

I've supported Livestrong because I think they do good work and because my Mom was a cancer survivor. She didn't have support groups like Livestrong to help her or our family through that ordeal. I guess the fact that Lance Armstrong was a cyclist steered me more toward his charity rather than Komen or the American Cancer Society. No, I never thought of Lance as a hero, just a talented, dedicated athlete. I'm way too old to have any sports people as a hero and Willie Mays retired about 40 years ago. Lance's story was compelling. From deathbed to seven Tour de France (TDF) titles and he started a cancer foundation that has raised over $500 million. 

So you see, I'm invested. This doping scandal hits a little closer to home than some of the others. I didn't much care if a 400 meter hurdler doped. I wasn't surprised by the baseball doping problems since I saw Barry Bonds head get bigger every season, little second basemen hit 45 home runs and 38 year olds have career seasons. 

I guess I've had suspicions about Lance using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) for awhile. Cyclists kept failing tests, having titles vacated and lying about the results. It was an allergy pill, tainted food, second hand smoke or a thousand other excuses. Some were actually caught with the goods and suspended for a year or two. The problem was there was never any hard proof that Lance doped. He never failed a test or was caught with any drugs. A couple of his teammates were caught, but that didn't prove anything. I'm sure some of Barry Bonds' teammates played drug free. There was also the fact that Lance is a pretty abrasive and successful person who made enemies along the way. I always thought part of the criticism and allegations were rooted in jealousy and revenge. The cycling press, mostly in other countries, was out to get the big story on the big fish. The French press was particularly hostile. Hell, he won their race seven times. More recently I've been concerned by government and quasi-government agencies getting involved in policing sports and athletes. Too many leagues, associations, commissions, agencies and committees seem to be in charge. Too much public money has been spent investigating and prosecuting athletes with minimal results. For more on that see my previous blog post on PEDs I wrote a couple of months ago.

 Now the United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) has made their case file about Lance Armstrong public and has turned it over to the International Cycling Union (UCI). I know, it looks like it should be ICU, but it's officially the Union Cycliste Internationale. Only the UCI, as the official governing body of cycling, can actually strip Armstrong of his TDF titles. On Monday, October 22, 2012, the UCI agreed with the USADA findings and stripped Armstrong of most of his professional cycling results including his seven TDF titles. He is also banned for life from cycling. USADA's ban will keep him from participating in any US sanctioned athletic events such as triathlons or marathons.  

The UCI press conference on October 22nd did not address who, if anyone, should inherit Armstrong's titles. A committee was formed to decide that. The problem is that almost every cyclist that shared the podiums with Lance has tested positive for, admitted to or been implicated in doping. It would be like Major League Baseball vacating Barry Bonds' records and giving them to Mark McGwire. 

I've read the USADA report and several of the attachments. It is a huge document. The preponderance of evidence seems to overwhelmingly point to systematic use of PEDs over many years by Armstrong and his teammates. Doping that was encourage and assisted by team management. Several of those teammates and team members have admitted to drug use and testified that that they've witnessed Armstrong use drugs and/or he helped them dope. One or two disgruntled teammates could be dismissed as sour grapes. Several team members, some longtime allies, admitting institutionalized PED use on the teams can not be considered a conspiracy to defame an innocent man. Armstrong and his cohorts are either guilty as sin or the targets of the biggest conspiracy in anti-doping history. There were over 25 witnesses that testified. There are also financial records and questionable drug results in the findings. My conclusion is that Armstrong not only used PEDs but virtually forced his teammates to do the same and helped them do it. All in support of his TDF titles.

So what's next? Armstrong's sponsors are abandoning the sinking ship in droves. He has stepped down as the Chairman of his Livestrong foundation. I think the fact that Nike fired him is especially damning. He's only the second endorsement athlete they've fired, the first was Michael Vick and they've rehired him. Apparently using PEDs is worse than killing dogs. Not only did Nike fire Armstrong, they put out a scathing statement that he had doped for years and deceived them about it. "Just Do It" apparently doesn't mean just do drugs. I am certain that Nike and their gaggle of lawyers went over the USADA documents line by line before making their decision and issuing their statement. Most of his other sponsors quickly followed suit. They all have their own gaggle of lawyers too. I'm sure there will be lawsuits coming. That's what we do in this country. A couple might be legitimate, but most will be to make some found money or gain publicity. Through it all, Lance has maintained he never use PEDs and it's all a conspiracy against him. I think when you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, even if overwhelmingly circumstantial, the best course is to admit the mistake and move on. Americans are forgiving. Several admitted dopers, both performance and recreational, have made comebacks and been accepted by the public and the fans. 

If Armstrong is stripped of his TDF titles, the UCI will probably be forced to leave seven championships vacant. All seven of the TDF runners up to Armstrong have been sanctioned for PEDs or suspected of using. You can't strip the title from one doper and then give it to another doper. I also think it would be ashame to not have a winner for seven years of one of the most famous and prestigious sporting events. Other professional sports usually don't wipe out champions and records because of failed drug tests or evidence of PEDs. Barry Bonds is still the official home run leader, Roger Clemens record still shows over 300 wins, Alex Rodriguez still gets to play poorly in post-season and make $29 million a year. There is no need to strip Lance of his titles. Everyone will know that he used PEDs to win in an era of cycling when almost everyone used PEDs. These drugs don't magically make you a world class athlete. You or I could take every drug known to man and still not compete with these folks. It's like naturally gifted athletes. They can get by at first but then they run into athletes that also have natural ability and work harder. Lance competed against naturally gifted cyclists who trained hard and took PEDs. He either had more natural ability, trained harder or took more/better drugs. Probably a combination of all three, plus he had an iron will. 

My solution is to leave the cycling record books as they are just as we leave the baseball, football, soccer, … records. Everyone with a brain knows Hank Aaron is the all-time home run leader, not Barry Bonds. Lance won more than anyone else in the doping era competing against other dopers. Now we know Eddy Merckx is still the best cyclist ever (I realize that may be a little obscure). Just make sure it's noted that cycling from about 1995 to 2010 was tainted by drugs. As for the money Armstrong made, let Trek and Nike go after him if they choose. I suspect Lance is in for a very rough and financially devastating few years with both civil and criminal actions. Many lawyers will be getting rich.

As for cycling in general I think they should follow the South African model. Cycling from the top governing agencies down to the newest team intern has been complicit in over a decade or two of institutionalized doping. If an athlete wanted to compete at the top levels they needed a little PED help to keep up. Like the apartheid in South Africa there needs to be a way to make a clean slate and a new beginning. Now make no mistake, I in no way think the PED dilemma in cycling compares to the atrocities or aftermath of South African apartheid. The parallel is that a bad practice had become institutionalized, accepted and almost required. Mandela and de Klerk realized that amnesty and a Truth and Reconciliation Commission was a viable solution. The same thing could work for cycling but it would have to include all parties. That's athletes, team management, team and race sponsors, race organizers, drug enforcement agencies and governing bodies. South Africa's Truth & Reconciliation Commission was fortunate to have leaders like Nelson Mandela convene it and Desmond Tutu preside over it. Cycling does not have leaders of that character but there must be a few folks a notch or two below who could sort this mess out. I'm not going to hold my breath that this will happen anytime soon. Until cycling is hit with economic loses they will try to say all is well and continue business as usual. The quickest way to real change would be for the sponsors to ban together and demand change from the top down. If the team and event sponsors apply united pressure changes will be made. Road cycling is completely dependent on sponsors. You can't charge admission to spectators along a 120 mile course over public roads. A professional union for the riders should be established too. Let's break the dictatorial and monopoly power of the UCI. 



There are no winners here, at least not yet. Let us hope that cycling can right their ship, fix their problems and emerge better and stronger. It is a beautiful sport and an even better activity. I hope I can ride for another 15 years and enjoy the Tour de France for another 20. As for Lance, let's hope he gets his due for trashing cycling and being a complete ass.

So, ride your bike and support the charity of your choice. I will. 

wjh

Are You Bored?

by Bill Holmes

One of the phrases I often hear or see is "I'm bored".  I don't fully understand that phrase.  I know the definition of bored.    I've been in the company of boring (to make weary by being dull, repetitive, or tedious) people.  I've probably bored people (one that is wearingly dull, repetitive, or tedious).  What I don't understand is how someone not trapped in a completely boring situation can be bored.  How can you be free, alone or on your own and be bored? 

The reason I'm perplexed is that I don't get bored.  I'm sure I've said "I'm bored" at some point in my life, it seems to be a required phrase during the teen years, but I don't remember if, when or why.  I'm not looking down on those who are bored, it's just that I don't understand the concept.

A little background.  I may have an anti-bored advantage.  I grew up as an only child and without the benefit of an extended family.  All the grandmothers, cousins, aunts and uncles lived 1,000 miles away.  I was kind of forced to be my own entertainment.  Once the family supper was done it was time to retire to my room to do homework.  I always had homework.  It's apparently God's (and the nuns) will and a requirement if you go to Catholic school as I did.  It seems like I even had homework during the summer.  When on the rare occasion I didn't have homework, I was out in the neighborhood until dark.  Now I'm not saying that I always did all my homework, but I did always go to my room to at least pretend I did.

My room was not a multimedia hub, I had a state of the art (1960's) transistor AM radio.  It was about 7''x3''x1'' with a 2" speaker and a baby blue plastic case.  The picture of the red radio looks similar in size and style.  Of course my radio was a little more stylish and blue.  I even  had an earphone, not earphones.  There was only one earpiece that looked like a hearing aid and had a removable wire thingy that fit over the ear to hold it in place.  That's OK, the radio was monaural as were the AM radio broadcasts.  A real leather case was also part of the package.  A great Christmas present.  There was only one TV (and four channels) in the house and that was controlled by Dad, although I was the remote control if I was in the room.  Often I didn't care to watch what my parents were watching even after I allegedly finished the homework.  I was content to listen to the radio and/or read.  As I got older, I might call a girlfriend or potential girlfriend.  By the time I became interested in girls we were pretty uptown and had added a second phone in one of the bedrooms.  Not my bedroom, but the folks were watching TV in the living room so I could use the phone in private.  Much better than trying to stretch the kitchen phone cord out the back door.  Guys didn't call each other unless it was to make or confirm plans.  Those conversations were very short.   

Not very exciting by today's standards but I was never bored.  The books were interesting and the songs on the radio were great.  One of the great radio stations was  WAPE, the Big Ape, the Mighty 690.  If you grew up in the southeast in the 1960's you probably heard it.  It was a clear channel 25,000 watt station and later 50,000 watts.  WPDQ, on AM 600, was the other favorite station.  I think there also was a WIVY that had studios in San Marco and broadcast somewhere in the 1200's on the AM dial.  The radio stations were a little more diversified back then.  WAPE and WPDQ were Top 40 stations, but the top 40 might include rock, Motown, surf, British invasion, pop, folk and country.  A few oldies would make the playlist too.  The disc jockeys had personalities and involved the listeners.  Did I forget to mention that there were no FM stations?  They came along in the late 60's.  The books I read were all over the map also.  Almost anything that wasn't required reading was interesting.  I did other stuff too.  All the usual kid and teenage activities including lots of baseball and fast pitch softball and things I can't divulge because my kids might read this.  As we got old enough to drive, we would often pretend to do our homework with friends at the library.  Sometimes we actually did go to or at least drive by the library.

The point is, I spent a lot of time alone growing up.  I spent a lot of time in my room.  During my adult life I've also lived alone often.  Sometimes a little lonely but still not bored. 

I find it hard to believe that in 2013 anybody could be bored.  There are 200 or 300 TV channels, on demand movies and TV shows from multiple sources, $1.20 movie rentals at Redbox.  You got your Xbox, PS3, Wii and handheld gaming consoles.  Smart phones, tablets and PCs.  Books are available instantaneously online, for free at libraries, at old fashioned bookstores or borrowed from a friend.  You can even still get a newspaper delivered every morning either electronically or in a plastic bag on your doorstep.  And one more little thing, the Internet, you can never consume all of its content.  All those things are for entertainment and information.  You could also do some work around the house or yard, go for a walk, jog, run or bike ride.  Go to the fitness center and exercise on electronic machines while watching TV &/or listening to music on your iPod/MP3 device.  Museums are cheap or free.  These can all be done alone.  There are a few million other activities that can be done with family and friends.  There is no excuse to be bored.

I was told or read or heard when I was young that to be bored was a reflection on yourself.  You were not interesting enough to keep yourself entertained or occupied.  You were so self-centered that you expected someone or something to entertain you at all times.  That thought stuck with me.  I never heard my Mom, a stay at home wife/mom until I was 10 or 12, say that she was bored.  I did hear her often say during her whole life that she didn't have enough time to do all the things she needed or wanted to do.  Her body gave out way before her mind or spirit.  Maybe you were lucky enough to be occupied, entertained or stimulated most of your life.  Maybe you never learned how to entertain yourself.  If that's so, I envy your active life but am sad you didn't learn to be self sufficient.  Sometimes a little quiet time with yourself is good.  Daydreams aren't just for kids in the classroom.

There is a myriad of activities to keep your brain and body occupied.  So, if you think you're bored play with your kid(s), go for a bike ride, read a book, surf the Internet, play with your Xbox, watch a movie, perhaps even write a blog or at least a comment about some old fart ranting about bored people.

Seriously, add a comment to this blog.  I'll read it, consider what you say and probably reply.  After all, it will keep you and me from being bored for at least a few minutes.

wjh

A New Way to Enjoy a Book

by Bill Holmes 

I'm currently reading Buster Keaton: Tempest in a Flat Hat by Edward McPherson.  It's a good book about one of my favorite comedians.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Buster's work I feel sorry for you.  Buster was a vaudevillian-comedian-actor-director-writer-producer-acrobat-stuntman.  Although Buster's heydays were in the 1920's during the silent movie era, his movies are still funny and the stories classic.


Buster was known for his stone face and pork pie hat as depicted on the book's dust jacket.  He was born in 1895 and by the time he was five years old he was appearing in his parents vaudeville act.  He got into the brand new movie business when he was about 20.  He worked for and with Fatty Arbuckle for a couple of years.  By 1920 he was star-director-actor-producer of his own films.

This is not meant to document the life and times of Buster Keaton, there are plenty of books and websites that can do that.  Suffice it to say that he is a fascinating man with a fascinating story.

The reason I'm writing this is that I found a new way, for me anyway, to enjoy this book.  The book depicts Buster's life in chronological order.  Once the book gets into the movie years, there is a chapter or story about each movie.  The first couple of years of Buster's movie career consists of what were called two reelers.  Mostly comedies that fit on two reels of film and ran about 20 minutes.  These movies, also called shorts, would play before, after or between the feature film(s).  Much like the cartoons that movie theaters showed when I was growing up.  What ever happened to that?  Later he made full length films.

Now here is the good part.  Thanks to the internet and YouTube, I can read a chapter about a movie and then watch it.  It's great to know the movie's background then almost immediately see it.  It's like being there during the filming.  You are privy to the stage and film tricks they used.  The set building, technology and engineering that was invented and believe me, there were many film innovations in the 1920's.  You are tipped off to be on the lookout for little gems in the picture.  What was done in real time, often in-camera effects, and what was edited later (no CGI).  Maybe a quick stunt or camera trick.  Maybe a blooper that got left in the final print that looks planned.  Maybe a serious injury that occurred during a stunt but the players continued the scene.  Maybe an uncredited actor's name or somebody playing a double roll.  Sometimes the book narrative even clears up the plot.  Since most of the movies are silent, the subtitles often don't fill in all the blanks.  I was even able to watch one short with French titles and knew what was going on.

I've done this on a limited basis before.  I've watched clips of Johnny Carson while reading about him and the Tonight Show.  Although many of those clips I saw when they happened so I had a vision in my mind while reading.  Despite what some of you may think, I am not old enough to have seen Buster's movies in a theater during their first run.  This is the first time I have consciously read a chapter and then gone to the tape (I know, it's not tape anymore. That's just an old expression).  It has been fun and made the book and videos more rewarding.  Sure it takes a little longer to get through the book.  It means a 20 or 90 minute break to watch the movie.  This is a way to make an old fashion book more like an eBook with it's embedded links.

Obviously this technique doesn't work for all books.  There are hardly any YouTube clips of the real George Washington or Abraham Lincoln.  No Civil War battle videos.  Caesar and Cleopatra seem to be missing too.   Fiction and novels usually don't have accompanying clips.  Nevertheless, there are plenty of books that have complimentary video on the Internet.  Based on my experience it's worth trying.

Even if you are not a reader, I encourage you to watch a few Buster Keaton movies.  The two reelers are only about 20 minutes long and tell a full story.  The features are over an hour but are classics.  There are many excerpts of the highlights that are even shorter.  For films almost 100 years old I think they hold up very well.  Whether you are a fan or not, you must admit that Buster was a gifted performer and film maker.  He was a founding member of the movie industry.  He made a fortune and lost it.  He soared to great heights, crashed and then came back.

Please excuse me now, I have a few more chapters to read and videos to watch.

wjh