SPNN - Sexual Predators News Network

SPNN

With all the fallout from the recent sexual harassment and assault cases in the news business, it occurred to me that those predators need a new employer. So, I propose the creation of the Sexual Predators News Network. We could refer to it as SPiNN. 

After all, most of those guys only made a few million dollars a year for several years. They also made vast quantities of money outside their day jobs. There were book deals, speaking engagement fees, and other moneymaking opportunities. Now, most of that has dried up. 

Let's look at the potential lineup for SPNN. First up, we have, ironically, Mr. No-Spin, Bill O'Reilly. He was finally fired by Fox News Network. O'Reilly was accused by several women over several years of very inappropriate sexual behavior. While he still denies the allegations, he and Fox paid out millions of dollars to settle out of court. On his new internet No Spin News show, he even told God or was it just Jesus that he was angry at Him for putting him through this. Afterall, Bill is a good Catholic, why would God punish him for inappropriate behavior? Besides his daily program on Fox, O'Reilly has co-written several bestsellers and sold O'Reilly Factor junk on his website. Surely his little internet show does not pay as much as his Fox News gig which was estimated to be around $20 million per year. His estimated net worth is around $85 million. It would be much higher if he didn't have to pay millions to women to not sue him. So, you can clearly see that Bill needs a new job although he may get (has gotten?) a $25 million severance package from Fox. How many more women will get some of that money to settle?

Next up we have Charlie Rose. He was co-host of CBS This Morning and host of The Charlie Rose Show on PBS. He also contributed to 60 Minutes and sometimes sat in as anchor for The CBS Evening News. Charlie was on TV all the time. First one, then others, came forward to say he was a creep. Someone who made sexual advances and put them in uncomfortable situations. Rose is a relative pauper with a net worth of only $25 million. He has now lost his estimated $8 million CBS salary plus whatever he made from his PBS show which his company also produced. 

The latest and maybe biggest TV star to fall is longtime NBC Today Show host Matt Lauer. He also did several Olympics and specials for NBC. It is estimated that he was the highest paid TV newsperson at $25 million a year. His net worth is estimated at $60 million although some believe it is much more. Of course, Lauer and NBC are working on a severance package that may be worth as much as $30 million.

The new SPNN could also hire political journalist Mark Halperin to add commentary and analysis. Mark lost his jobs at MSNBC, Showtime, and Bloomberg. He also lost a book and HBO mini-series deals. Marks net worth is estimated at $30 million with an annual income of $4 million. 

I expect there will be more high profile casualties in the news industry to fill out the new network roster. In order to cut down on the big money settlements, no women will be allowed to work for the network. Since all the underlings will be men, no gay male predator stars will be hired. Sorry, Kevin Spacey. 

It's hard to predict how large an audience SPNN will draw. There are plenty of sexual predators out there so the ratings could be good. We know Roy Moore, John Conyers, Donald Trump, and Harvey Weinstein will be watching. It's a birds of a feather thing. It should also get pretty good ratings in Alabama. 

It may be that there will be enough movie and entertainment TV industry people, stars, directors, and producers, to start an entertainment branch of SPNN. Bill Cosby and Louie CK could do comedy specials or sitcoms. Kevin Spacey's new drama show will be House of Gropes or a TV movie version of The Usual Suspects. They could then go with just Sexual Predators Network, SPN, as the name. Even better for the SPiN pronunciation.

Watch closely for the launch of SPNN &/or SPN on your cable, satellite or streaming provider. All those poor predators need a place to land. 

wjh