Brain Farts III

• Was baking some sweet potatoes the other night and fell asleep. Luckily precision timing isn't required. They sure were tender. And delicious.
• You can't go to a liquor store on a Sunday in Texas. Well, you can go to the store but it will be closed.
• A pesky gnat was annoying me while I was watching TV. Thought it landed on my leg so I gave it a fast hard slap. Turns out the gnat on my leg was actually a very small scab. That scab is now dead. The gnat is going strong.
• Went to the dark kitchen during a commercial. Opened the fridge, grabbed a beer and tried to put it in the koozie I had in my hand. Seems you have to remove the empty before inserting a fresh beverage. 
• Got up from my chair, grabbed the dirty plate and glass, then headed straight to the bathroom. I guess technically you can wash your dishes in the bathroom but I usually prefer the dishwasher. My dishwasher happens to be located in the kitchen.
• Put a beer in the freezer when I got home from the store. Then a friend called and I went to her house. That beer was damn solid when I got home.
• On the same return trip, I failed to zip my bike seat bag that had my money, credit cards and keys in it. It's hard to unlock the door without keys. Retraced my route and luckily found the keys on the street. Also lucky the money and credit cards didn't fall out.
• I broke a bottle on the kitchen floor. Vacuumed and mopped. Of course a couple of days later I found a glass sliver with my foot. Deep enough to draw blood. I decided to pull it out with my fingers instead of tweezers. Now I have a bleeding foot and finger. Double the pleasure.
• Over the years as I age, I've gotten a little better about making notes to remind me of stuff. Now, I'm finding that often I have no idea what the note means or what I was trying to remind myself about.  CRS (Can't Remember Shit) disease is a real affliction. 
• I now have to set a kitchen timer and a timer on my phone or Google Home when I am cooking. I often don't hear the kitchen timer. The phone is usually closer to me and more persistent. Hearing and brains both deteriorate. 
• I had left my koozie on the counter next to the fridge the night before. After a bike ride, I grabbed a beer and put it on the same counter. Then I picked up the koozie and put it in the cabinet. Of course, I then opened the cabinet and grabbed my koozie. All's well that ends well.
• I put the cucumber skins and a lettuce core into a used baggie so it wouldn't stink up the place or draw gnats. Instead of throwing it into the garbage, I put it back in the fridge.  
• I discovered tonight that when watching Netflix on my Roku, my DVR remote will not pause, fast forward or rewind the program.
• I have determined through experience that when you turn on the wrong burner, it takes damn near forever to cook the food. It seems to get stuck at room temperature.
• There is no need to start the kitchen timer before you put the food in the oven. I've never seen a recipe that started with "leave uncooked food on counter 12 minutes at 72°".
• How long does it take to brew a cup of hot tea in the fridge? I mistakenly tried to find out the other day.  
• Sometimes I put something down, like keys or glasses, in a place not normal but convenient at the time. I often think when I do it that I won't remember where I left my stuff. That thought is about 98% correct.
• If a thought pops into my head that needs some internet answer, verification or just further information, I can lose that thought before I can get to the bookmarks tab. That's even when I'm already on the computer or phone.
• There is no need to put the pepper mill in the fridge after using.
• Wrote a check to pay a bill. Noted the check number on the bill then filed the CHECK with the paid bills. 
• I have found that you are much more likely to get a response to a text or email if you actually send it to the intended recipient. 
• I have one of those watches/fitness bands that the screen comes on when you raise your arm and turn your wrist. I was in a dark room and did the required arm movement to see what time it was. The screen didn't come on so I tried again, same result. One more try and I started to reach to push the button on the watch. At that moment, I remembered that it was on the nightstand charging. BTW, it was 6:42 AM.

wjh

Very Random Thoughts - February 2017

• In February, you have to cram a whole month's worth of random thoughts into only 28 days.
• We have become so used to constant noise that if there are more than a couple of seconds of silence on the TV we think it is technical difficulty.
• Be very suspicious when you hear politicians and others say things like "always", "never", "worst or best ever", "first time ever"... Or now when Trump says "tremendous","fantastic", "huge", "believe me", "trust me"
• I have at least nine pairs of readers scattered around the apartment. I also have a pair I leave at a friend's house. Does this seem excessive? Of course I still often don't have a pair within reach when I need them.
• Is the new Big Mac Jr. an oxymoron?
• You don't see as many quicksand accidents on TV as you used too. That used to be a staple danger in old Westerns and adventure shows.
• Style, not substance. The messenger, not the message. Form, not facts. 
• Why does honey have a "best by" date? Honey lasts for centuries. 
• I think Fox News and MSNBC should be forced to share offices and on-air shows. It might thin the herd of talking head BS "analysts" (there would probably be a body count). It would also present both extreme sides of the issue so people could decide for themselves. Hyperbole from both sides might cancel out. Better than fake reality TV.
• Even the science fiction writers of the last few decades did not predict the advancements in technology. Our smartphones are better than the communicators and comm badges on Star Trek. Google is at least as smart as the Enterprise computer. Holodecks are probably close. But, we still don't have transporters and warp drives.
• That rolling down the window gesture has no meaning or connection to the youth of today. Power windows their whole life. I guess you have to text people now or maybe knock on the window if you're close enough.
• Was listening to music and "Black Magic Woman" by Santana came on. Is that song about a Black woman who is magic or a woman of indeterminate race who practices black magic?
• I'm beginning to think all those tests on Facebook are not entirely honest. "Most people can only answer 4 out of 10 correctly". "Only 1 in 50 will get this right". Either that or everyone I know is a genius. #clickbait 

wjh