Remembering Mom & November '63

It has now been 106 years since my Mom's birth. I wrote this six years ago in 2012, the 100th anniversary of her birth. Other than a couple of grammar, spelling or punctuation corrections, I have not changed the text. I still think of Mom every day. That's a good thing because she was a much better person than I am. She is still making me better. I'll wrap up this new intro now because I have a tear in my eyes and it's hard to type. Happy 106th birthday Mom. We all miss you. 

by Bill Holmes

November 22, 2012, was Thanksgiving. It was also the 49^th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Those two events don't go together. Being that I'm a little over 49 years old, I remember it very well. It happened down the road in Dallas. He last spoke even closer in Fort Worth. Anniversary doesn't seem like the right word to remember that kind of event. Anniversary to me usually means a more joyous event. Your parent's 50th wedding anniversary, the anniversary of a school graduation or any other happy milestone event.

I have many memories of the day JFK was killed and the following few weeks. It was a sad and tragic time in my life. I think I'll save the details for next year which will be the 50^th year since that event occurred. If I'm lucky, I'll still be around and cognizant and able to write my thoughts.

I am a big fan of Thanksgiving. Except for the mass quantities of food, there are no expectations other than getting together with friends and family to enjoy the day. It didn't seem appropriate to remember or discuss that day 49 years ago on a day we celebrate and are thankful for all we have and enjoy. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends, as it should be. No negative vibes.

The other event occurring around this time of year is the 100^th anniversary of my Mother's birth, November 25, 1912. Obviously, that was a much more important event in my life (pre-life) although I was oblivious of it at the time. Mom was born at home, none of that hospital nonsense needed. Home was a duplex in Winchester, Massachusetts. I wrote a blog in August about 100 years ago. That was more generic, this one is about my Mom. Besides Mom and Dad being born, 1912 was the year the Titanic sunk, the Olympic games in Stockholm and apparently when we discovered Antarctica.

If you knew my Mom, you loved my Mom. She was a gentle, proper, kind, caring, cultured and giving person. Like anyone born in 1912, she had some beliefs and ideas that probably wouldn't be considered modern or progressive now. She and I butted heads many times, but I always knew she loved me unconditionally and was on my side. I always loved her unconditionally too but was too young and too stupid to always show or articulate that love. I often disappointed my Mom and I regret that. She certainly didn't deserve a sometimes ungrateful son. Looking back, it wouldn't have been that hard to have reduced those disappointments.

I've always been thankful that my two sons got to know their Nana. She got to see her oldest grandson become a very successful adult and husband. He was the apple of her eye from the day he was born. When my youngest son came along, twenty years later, it was obvious that there was room for at least two apples in Nana's life. The younger son was in elementary school when Nana died but he was still devastated. The older son was devastated too since he had 30 years of her love. They both loved their Nana.

Mom lived until 2002 and was a few months shy of 90 years old. This is absolutely amazing. I know people live to be 90 but not many who went through what she did.  She had metastasized melanoma and lymphoma at a time in the late 1940s when people didn't survive any cancer. She went through experimental surgery, her choice, to save her leg when I was an infant. She wanted to be a two-legged Mom. Remember, they didn't have computerized prosthetic limbs 60 years ago. She had radiation therapy before the medical profession knew how to do it. That caused radiation burns and who knows what other damage. Her leg was saved and obviously, she survived the procedure. For the next 60 years she lived with the limitations, pain and a severely scarred body from that and other surgery. She didn't complain about that, she was thankful to be alive and have two legs. She pushed herself to the limit and refused to yield to a damaged leg and body. That caused problems but she powered through them. Because she was in almost constant pain she ate aspirin like candy. That eventually led to an ulcer and major hemorrhage when she was in her 70's. The only change was that she lost some weight because they removed 2/3rds of her stomach. There were other challenges along the way too. I think she had about 10 major operations. Then her eyes started to go but either the doctors screwed up or she just couldn't heal any more so she got to be half blind for years. No complaints at least about her health. If she could move and get out of bed, she was ready to go.

Way before the grandkids came along I got to be the apple of her eye. I consider myself a Florida guy, but I was born in New Jersey and lived there for six years. I went to kindergarten there but luckily spent the rest of my scholastic career and formative years in Florida. The reason I bring up the New Jersey connections is that after Mom recovered from her first cancer, she used to take me to New York City. We'd ride the bus from Kearny/North Arlington, probably a bus stop on the Belleville Turnpike into New York City. Maybe into the Port Authority Bus Terminal, a lovely place. I remember standing on the bus seat and looking out the window, not the least bit safe. I remember being curious about everything we saw on the way to the big city. I remember the stink from the pig farms when we rode through Secaucus.

After some other buses and/or subways or very rarely a taxi, we'd be at the Museum of Natural History (my favorite) or the Guggenheim or the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) or some other great place. We would also often stop by Macy's or Gimbels or Saks and on a few occasions FAO Schwarz. All those places were magical to a four or five-year-old. They were also huge. In later years I realized that those places were normal size (OK, a little bigger than normal) and I was small. Not that I'm big now, but not tiny. We also always had at least lunch and sometimes an early supper in an adult restaurant in NYC before the bus ride home. I was taught by my Mom how to behave in public and I did. It was understood that as long as I acted appropriately, I could do adult things and go to adult places. I can't remember her ever having to correct my behavior on those trips. Probably because I wanted to go to those places with her and I knew the rules. Those trips to NYC have stuck with me my whole life. I still love to go to museums and nice restaurants. I appreciate those finer things in life even though I can mostly only look from afar. I've been lucky to have lived or spent time in NYC, Atlanta, Chicago, DFW and other places that have great museums and other attractions. Just a couple of weeks ago I was at the Kimbell Museum (one of the great places) in Fort Worth with a dear friend. We both enjoyed the exhibition and each other's company but my overwhelming feeling was that I missed my Mom and wished she could share this with me. I knew why I was enjoying the museum. It was because my Mom exposed me to fine art at a very early age. One of the great regrets of my life is that Mom never got to came to visit us here in DFW. It wasn't her fault, that's another story. She would have absolutely loved the museum district in Fort Worth, I think the Kimbell would have been her favorite. We would have had to also go to the Dallas Museum of Art and Sixth Floor Museum. Oh yes, lunch at the Zodiac Room at Neiman Marcus would have been on the agenda too.

I will be forever grateful to my Mother. She encouraged my curiosity and more importantly good manners and behavior. You can take a kid anywhere if they behave. That's not a common practice nowadays. Taking kids everywhere is common, it's the good behavior that is not.

After moving from the metropolitan New York City area to Florida our cultural outings were greatly reduced. That and as the little five-year-old grew into a little ten-year-old and then a little teenager there wasn't as much Mom time. We hit the museums, historical places and points of interest when we were on vacation but it wasn't the same. Mom kept up her cultural muscles by going to the symphony, ballet, and touring plays.

Mom also instilled in me my love of reading. She was a stay at home mom until I was about 12. When I was very young she read to me every day. She's the one who taught me how to read and write which I knew how to do before kindergarten. She taught me all the other proper behavior, manners, and etiquette that was so important to her. Of course, I thought many of those things were old fashion and unnecessary. In fact, many of those practices were from the nineteenth century, taught to my Mom by my Grandmother (born in the 1880's). My Grandmother was also a very gentle, proper, kind, caring, cultured and giving person. I had many great times with her too. She raised me when I was an infant and Mom was sick. Now I'm not saying all that training took. Most of my good behavior was limited to times I had to be well behaved but at least I knew the rules when I needed them.

Mom had another important job in my youth. She kept my Dad from killing me on several occasions. She would intervene when the punishment didn't fit the crime or better yet, keep my screwups a secret. She was also my cheerleader and supporter. She was in charge of giving me encouragement and Dad was in charge of the criticism.

She taught me to appreciate quality. It was better to have a few good quality items than several cheap things. A couple of good outfits were better than a closet full of inferior clothes. A solidly built piece of furniture was better than a house full of particle board. In fact, I have much of the furniture that my parents bought in the 1940s. My oldest son has several of those pieces too. My modern flat screen TV is sitting on a small chest that was in my Mother's house when she was a child. I still have the desk and chair Mom bought me when I was about 10 or 12. The second part of buying quality was to take care of your stuff. Now buying quality things is easy when you have a lot of money. Mom had to squeeze her weekly household money until it squealed in order to buy nice things. She was a master at that. She always had a stash somewhere that Dad didn't know about. Even until the very end, she squirreled away a few bucks.

During the last few weeks before her death, she was barely able to speak and was too weak and unsteady to write. Dad was almost deaf and also lacked the patience to figure out what Mom was trying to communicate. I wound up being the only one who could understand more than a simple yes or no or hand gesture. One day in the hospital she motioned me to her bed. I put my ear to her mouth, read her lips and eventually figured out what she was saying. She told me to look in the pocket off her white quilted coat that was at home in the closet and to keep what I found. What I found was a pill container that had a couple of hundred dollars rolled up in it. That was her mad money. She must have known she was near the end and didn't want that money going with the coat when we cleaned out the closets.

Even in the end, Mom was thinking of others. Her whole life she was giving her time or money to the church or some cause. She was embarrassed and apologetic whenever she was in the hospital or sick. She didn't like putting other people out. She reasoned that family and friends were spending their valuable time visiting and taking care of her. She was much more comfortable doing that for others.

Yes, like most people born in 1912, Mom was a little old-fashioned. She was also overflowing with love for her family and fellow humans. There's nothing wrong with being a gentle, proper, kind, caring, cultured and giving person.

She was a wonderful Mom, Nana, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, in-law, and friend. I regret that she didn't get to be a wonderful great-Nana also. She missed that by almost exactly two years. I think of her almost every day and I miss her every day.

If there is a heaven she is surely there. With a healthy body, endless museums to visit, Broadway shows and symphonies to attend, plants and flowers to tend to, shopping at the finest stores, attending an afternoon tea with finger sandwiches and a secret hiding place in a cloud for her mad money. She also has a perfect view of her beloved grandsons and those great-grandsons she never met.

Happy 100^th Birthday Mom. I love you.

wjh

Our Changing Holidays aka Black Friday Eve

by Bill Holmes

Our celebration and perception of holidays is changing before our very eyes. It gets worse and changes faster every year. Before long our calendars and national holidays will need to reflect the new reality.

The worst and most obvious change is Thanksgiving. I think we are in danger of losing this great holiday. There is an undeniable and disturbing reason for this. The retailers don't make enough money from Thanksgiving. With the exception of turkeys, cranberries, sweet potatoes and French's French Fried Onions (for the green bean casserole), we don't buy a lot of extra stuff for Thanksgiving. That means other than Kroger or Publix or Safeway there's not much more than the usual household spending. Maybe a little extra at the liquor store too for a better than normal bottle or two of wine or a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream for after dinner coffee. Best Buy, Macy's, Walmart and Target don't get a big bump in customers or revenue, so they almost skip recognition of the holiday. How many Thanksgiving decorations or advertisements did you see this year?

Before long we will observe the fourth Thursday in November as Black Friday Eve. We're close to that now. In fact, Black Friday itself is in jeopardy of becoming Black Thursday. Black Friday used to start the Christmas shopping season at normal store opening hours on Friday. Then a couple of stores began opening at 8:00 AM, then 6:00, then 4:00 and finally at midnight. Of course that is no longer good enough. Now major retailers are opening on Thanksgiving, some are open all day just like a normal Thursday. So you see, we are already close to eliminating Thanksgiving as a holiday where family and friends gather to give thanks, share time together, eat too much, watch football on TV and fall asleep on the couch. It's now primarily a shopping day or at least a planning day for shopping. Thanksgiving dinner will soon have to be a quick breakfast, maybe with turkey sausage or turkey bacon, so we can get to Walmart. Of course this won't last long. Some retailer, maybe next year, will start the sales on Wednesday night. You see where this is going. Hey, many folks are off work Labor Day, let's start the big Christmas sales then. Hell, why wait that long? Let's shop before the July 4th fireworks.

Whenever the retailers start the sales some people will try to be first in line for the big deal items. I'm sure you've seen the news reports of folks camped out at the big box retailers. A week or more before Black Friday there are tents, chairs, sleeping bags and grills outside the store doors. I saw mothers and grandparents, some with the kids, camped out on TV yesterday. Grandma was talking about what a wonderful Christmas the kids would have. More accurately she meant what a materialistic Christmas we'll have. So how great a Thanksgiving will the family have camped outside Best Buy? Let us give thanks for this tent and the good weather so we can get $100 off a TV and Nintendo Wii U. I wish it was about 30 degrees, windy and wet instead of the 70 degree days we're having here in D/FW. Maybe then some would stay home at least part of Thursday and celebrate the real holiday.

Thanksgiving is not the only holiday being changed by retailers and advertisers. Halloween used to be a kids night now it's a major retail event. It's not just selling more candy, there are now costume stores and Halloween decorations, lights, spook/horror houses, events and parties. Halloween stores pop up in malls and empty storefronts. My parents never dressed up for Halloween, never had a party, never took me to a spook house (there weren't any) or decorated the house. We had one pumpkin carved with triangle eyes and nose on the front porch. One parent would go with the little kids and one would stay home to hand out the candy or money or cookies or fruit. We weren't scared by news reports that our neighbors were putting razor blades in apples or arsenic in the homemade cookies. An eccentric parent might put on some extra makeup or a homemade witches hat. No full French Maid costumes from the Party Store. I'm not opposed to Halloween becoming a bigger holiday. I think it's fun and I know some very mature kids that enjoy it very much. Let's be clear though, millions of people didn't just all of a sudden decide to make Halloween a big deal. Retailers and advertisers saw an opportunity and pushed it. That's OK with me because no other holiday or tradition was pushed aside. The only downside is that retailers now go directly from Halloween to Christmas with no acknowledgement of Thanksgiving.

The Super Bowl was once just a football game. Now it's a reason to sell big screen TV's and everything related to the home entertainment center. We all need a new 60 inch flat screen TV, Dolby surround sound speakers, tiered seating, reclining chairs and a few other toys. We also need mass quantities of food and drink, team clothing and probably a new grill and/or outdoor kitchen. All that to watch a usually crappy football game with a bad halftime show. Old Navy tries to sell us a new T-shirt every year for July 4th. It's the same grey shirt with a flag printed on it but then they print the year on it too. You can't possibly wear a 2011 shirt in 2012.

I don't know what the retailers and advertisers have in store for Memorial, Independence, Veterans and Labor Days. I'm sure they have their best minds working on it. None of those holidays help the retail establishment that much. Again, you might get a spike at the grocery and liquor stores but no great push for the malls and big box stores. Maybe those holidays are safe as is for a few years since they're not surrounded by two major retail events, Halloween and Christmas, like Thanksgiving is. I do suspect that Super Bowl Sunday has eclipsed New Year's Eve and Day as the primary January, sometimes February, event.

I've had mostly good Thanksgivings my whole life. Although my small immediate family lived a thousand miles from most of our relatives we always spent the holiday with friends, usually less than 10 people. It was always a nice day even the times when there was a kitchen disaster and there were a few. In later life I became part of a much larger family and group of friends, more like 20-25 people for dinner. I still get to celebrate with that crowd which I enjoy and appreciate very much. Those who were once the little kids at Thanksgiving are now the parents of the little kids. It's a great tradition. I hope we can keep Thanksgiving as a non-commercial holiday where people just get together to enjoy each other, a little food and beverage, some football and give thanks that we can do all of that.

I don't plan to ever go to a Black Friday sale. I plan to rest after a full meal the day before, maybe go for a bike ride but not near any stores. For Thanksgiving, I plan to see friends and family I don't see often enough, eat and drink too much, watch some football and maybe play some board games. There will be no rush to get to Walmart for the start of the sales.

I hope you have wonderful a Thanksgiving (not Black Friday Eve) and I hope the holiday remains relevant for many years to come. At least until I'm too old to know the difference.

wjh

Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone -

by Bill Holmes

Once again we seem to have our priorities all wrong as our news media emphasizes the sensational rather than the important. I'm speaking of the uproar and indignation over the General David Petraeus “affair”. If you watch, read or listen to the news, this is the most important event in the world. As usual we not only get the alleged facts but the endless analysis from the talking head pundits. We have political, military, national security, CIA, relationship, sex and psychological experts plus the usual media blowhards weighing in on the situation. Forget that fiscal cliff nonsense, the ongoing recovery from Sandy, that little disagreement in Syria, the sluggish economy or a myriad of other real issues. We need to concentrate on two adults who had an affair. Probably not a great idea, but stuff happens. I'm sure it's the first time that has ever happened, particularly in Washington D.C. by a powerful person. Not satisfied with just dragging Petraeus and Paula Broadwell through the news cycle, we now have to also impugn the reputations of General John Allen and Jill Kelley based on possibly flirtatious emails. No proof of impropriety, just some pundits saying some of the emails could be interpreted as flirtatious. Sure glad I was never judged on that kind of evidence. I suspect the fact that it's TV sweeps month adds to the hyperbole.

Here is my take which is always the purpose of this blog. I don't care where Petraeus takes his pants off or for what reason. That's between him, his family and bosses. I can understand why the FBI investigated this when Jill Kelley brought the threatening emails to their attention. Petraeus was the CIA Director, one of the most sensitive positions in our government. The investigation was justified to determine if any secret or sensitive US information was being compromised. That's it. His private personal relationships are not anyones concern. One big mistake appears that the FBI or someone in the chain of command between them and the President failed to inform him of the investigation. I'm not naive enough to think this was an accident. The POTUS may have been secretly informed or wasn't so he could deny any knowledge during election season.

Obama could have refused to accept Petaeus's resignation and told him to go back to work at the CIA and do what he needed to fix or end his marriage. He also could have accepted the resignation if he wanted Petraeus out and still kept the reason out of the press. Many political appointees leave an administration in the second term. There is no reason any of this had to be made public. But no, those involved decided to throw Petraeus under the bus and virtually erase his outstanding military record. From now on the first paragraph written about General David Petraeus in any news story will refer to an adulterous affair that led to his CIA resignation. His good work as commander in Iraq, Afghanistan and US Central Command will be relegated to later in the article or report if at all.

My question is, do we have so many capable leaders in government that we can afford to throw them out because of a personal indiscretion? Why would anyone want to serve in government when every little detail of there life is under a microscope. Not only are they under constant scrutiny but they are held to impossible standards. One little slip of the tongue, brain or the zipper and we're ready to throw the bums out. It apparently makes no difference that they may have spent decades doing a wonderful job. Sure there are jerks that need to be run out of town but let's use a little common sense.

We haven't always conducted business this way. Just in my lifetime there have been rumors or more about Presidents Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson and Clinton sexual activities. Countless members of Congress have had indiscretions. Over our 230+ years as a country there have been all kinds of scoundrels as leaders. There have been drunks, thieves, adulterers, mentally ill and a killer or two. Yes, Aaron Burr (VP at the time) killed Alexander Hamilton (first Sec. of Treas.) in a duel. Andrew Jackson killed a guy in a duel too. That didn't stop him from being elected president a few years later. Most of those guys skated because they were valued leaders. A few idiots tried to impeach Clinton, but he survived to have a very successful presidency and post term career. I suspect anything Congress could have done to punish Bill Clinton paled in comparison to the years of hell he's endured from Hillary.

I often hear that the US people are forgiving and that seems to be true if you are a celebrity or athlete that does drugs or abuses or cheats on their spouse. It might serve our country better if we extended that forgiveness to our leaders. I don't think we have enough good leaders in the public sector and with the current attitudes I don't hold much hope that we'll have an over abundance of them in the future.

From all accounts, David Pretaeus was an excellent general with 37 years of service in the Army. He had success in Iraq where several other commanders didn't. He championed and then led the US forces surge that seems to have turned the situation around. Sounds like the kind of person I might want on my team.

The title of this blog was Let He Who Is Without Sin... I hope we can be more tolerant and understanding of our fellow human beings. Those in the glass houses of congress and the press need a mirror, fewer stones and much less false indignation. I certainly can't throw stones and I doubt many of us can.

No stones here, just sadness that our country seems to have forgotten what is important. Thank you David for your service.

wjh

Election 2012

Election 2012

By:  Bill Holmes

Originally published on The View Point 10/01/12

Here we are once again in the middle of the presidential election season.  Some election cycles are exciting and in doubt.  Other years they are boring and predetermined.  Then we have elections like this year, boring and in doubt.  Actually boring, not media hyped exciting.  Even the boring ones are important.

I guess I've been following presidential elections to some degree since 1960.  I wasn't old enough to vote by several more years and not very politically aware but that election was special.  My parents were Catholic, Mom was from Massachusetts and I was enrolled in Catholic school.  For only the second time in US history and the first time since 1928 a Roman Catholic was nominated by a major political party for president.  Maybe even more compelling to me and my barely teenage peers was that the nominee was in his early 40's.  Although still old to us, he wasn't ancient like most politicians.  Catholic, young and vibrant got our attention.

Of course that candidate was John F. Kennedy.  He won that election and became our 35th president.  Looking back I still can't believe how close that election was.  He barely beat (or did he) Richard Nixon.  Even back then I felt Nixon was a sleazebag.  He proved my intuition right about a dozen years later.

Since then I've been hot, warm  and cold about different presidential elections.  I was for LBJ's civil rights push but against the Vietnam War.  Partly for selfish reasons because I was of draft age and partly because the war didn't make much sense to me.  The South Vietnamese government didn't seem much different than the North.  I escaped the draft but did lose some friends physically, mentally and emotionally.  I was excited in 1976 about Jimmy Carter.  I lived in Georgia at the time and he had done a very good job as governor.  Plus Nixon/Agnew/Ford had been a disaster.  What a disappointment Carter was.  He and his staff seemed completely overwhelmed by Washington and the job.  Oil embargoes, gas rationing, continued inflation, Iran hostages with a totally failed rescue attempt and general malaise sealed the deal.  Although not a big Reagan supporter, it was time to get Carter out of office by 1980.  At least Reagan was optimistic.  The Carter disappointment turned me off politics for awhile. I've been pretty noncommittal for several elections.  I eventually pick a favorite but I'm not invested in the campaigns.  Clinton was clearly a better speaker than GHW Bush and ran a better campaign, but was not a significantly better choice in '92.  In retrospect both Bush 41 and Clinton were pretty good presidents.  GW Bush ran a better campaign than Gore (how did he lose that election?) but again was not necessarily a better choice.  Last time in 2008 Obama had the advantage of a broken economy, no incumbent and a weak opponent.  How could McCain be such a boob when he finally got his chance?  He forgot what made him a viable candidate.  Does anyone think Sarah Palin was a good VP choice?  Does anybody think she was near ready to be president if McCain couldn't finish his term?  I know 12 year olds who were better informed than Palin.  I was also thrilled that we had a viable Black candidate.  A great milestone in our history, like in 1960 when we elected a Catholic and again someone in their 40's.

Now we come to this election in 2012.  I just don't know.  Once again I'm disappointed with the incumbent but unlike with Jimmy Carter in 1980, I'm not sure there is a better choice.  One of my big problems is that I am not a far left Democrat or far right Republican.  I'm mostly socially liberal and fiscally conservative although that definition doesn't always fit either.  I like Everett Dirksen Republicans and Mike Mansfield Democrats (I probably lost many of you with that reference).  The days when compromise wasn't a four letter word.  Reagan's entire two terms had Democratic Houses led by Tip O'Neill (a relative of mine).  Clinton, in his second term, dealt with a Republican House led by Newt Gingrich.  They still got things done.  The parties have skewed to the extremes in the past decade, particularly during the primaries.  I'm old enough to remember moderate and even liberal Republicans and conservative Democrats.  In fact up until about 1980 and Reagan the South was almost 100% Democratic, conservative Democratic or even Dixiecrat, but Democratic none the less.  For those of you who don't know why, it's because the South was still pissed at Abraham Lincoln, a Republican, for over a hundred years.  Fallout from that little Civil War skirmish and Reconstruction.  Around 1980 they figured out that they had really been Republicans for several decades.  Read the biographies of the Reagan Republicans and you'll find that many of them, including Reagan, started out at Democrats.  Almost every southern politician over 55 or 60, Rick (no cattle) Perry included,  switched parties when the conservative tide changed in their state.  That's OK with me since they didn't significantly change their views, just their party.

Partisanship is not new.  It was rampant in the 1930's and 40's.  My father hated Democrats and particularly Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR).  That was passed down from his folks who were "dyed in the wool" Republicans.  Some day I'll write about my paternal grandfather and certain Republican politicians he was in business with, some of them were even legal.  Mom was more a casual Republican.  Dad was such a hard-ass that when we moved to Florida in the 1950's he still registered as a Republican even though there were no Republican politicians or primary elections.  They were all conservative Democrats back then (remember the Abe Lincoln reference earlier).  Mom was way more pragmatic and registered as a Democrat so she would have a say in the local and state governments.  I'm not sure Dad ever forgave her for that.  He always voted straight Republican tickets including when Catholic JFK ran.  Even though Dad was totally Republican, his beloved party had some wiggle room and could actually compromise with the opposition.  It seems there is no longer any wiggle room.  You are either for or against.  Compromise is  defeat.  Both parties are guilty of this thinking and strategy.

I think Congress, the House and Senate, will still be divided at the end of the elections.  If Obama is re-elected will the House continue to stonewall legislation?  If Romney wins, will the Senate become the roadblock?  I sure hope not, whichever scenario plays out.  I want something to get done.  Reduce our debt, get the economy going, get the hell out Iraq and Afghanistan and fix the immigration mess.  Four  things, that's all you clowns have to work on.  Sure, there are a bunch of other issues but our esteemed representatives can't agree on anything so let's work on those four first.

As I write this in mid-September, the election is much in doubt.  The polls fluctuate day to day, but mostly within the margin of error.  Between now and election day, November 6th, they will continue to change.  That's the nature of our 24/7 news cycle and constant campaign environment.  Everything will be over analyzed by “experts” telling us what the candidates really meant and what they were thinking. Obama and/or Romney will put their foot in their mouth, a new economic or jobs report will come out, a foreign situation will erupt or some scandal (real or perceived) could come to light.  Any of these could favor or hurt one of the candidates a little or completely seal the election.

I wish we had a clearcut leader between the candidates, which is what the country needs, not just shades of gray differences between professional politicians.  I'm getting old enough that whatever happens in this election with the gridlock, the debt, the unemployment rates, the immigration mess and our wars will have very little effect on me.  Unfortunately and very fortunately, I have children, one in the Armed Forces, step-children, grandchildren, family and friends that are not in their final trimester.  For all of them we need leaders who will fix this mess.

I guess once again I'll make up my mind the day of the elections.  I hope between now and 2016  a real leader emerges and the environment in Washington changes.

wjh